the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize