I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just pynch a tree in the face
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
