Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
