The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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