so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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