Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
