some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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