You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
