he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
