I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
