so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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