Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
