...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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