Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
