You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
