If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
