Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
