Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
