the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
