I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
