Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
