There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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