It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize