I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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