That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Everclear isn't food dammit
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
