After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
