We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
