did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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