They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's rum buckets o'clock
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
