dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
