Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.

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(850): View more from Florida

i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.

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(903): View more from Texas

As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.

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(847): View more from Illinois

BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?

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(303): View more from Colorado

HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE

(303): View more from Colorado

actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win

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