I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My cat gives me a boner
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
That's how pantless uber rides happen
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
