first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
