Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize