is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
