my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
