i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
