I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
