man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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