I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
