his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
