i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
