Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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