can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
