Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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