The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
