I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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