You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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