get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
