Apparently you make a good broom.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize