ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
