Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
