He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
