i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
