I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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