How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
