I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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