Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
