When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
