Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
