plz talk dirty to me
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
