How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You were trust falling into bushes
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
